Kaonashi Ex Prayers Lyrics

After all these years, I find myself here
Same chances different feeling
We want what we can't have
I have nothing
I've learned to live with misery and that's saying something
See, I've been walking on walls, I've been sleeping on ceilings, just to explain my pain, just to justify the meaning
But what's it saying?
I was always told to be myself
But what if I don't like myself?
What if I just feel so insecure, selfish, scared, ugly, embarrassed and worthless
Permanent damage made from temporary feelings. I ask myself was it worth it
Everybody's happy but me
Everyone has someone but me
My life is a lose lose lose lose lose situation
I lose track of time when I think of the past
I lose my sense of direction when I think about the future
So I'm screaming out all my ex-prayers
All the bullshit that got me here
I wish I was a better person
I wish she loved me
See, its all pretend in the end
Its all make believe
All those things I wished so hard for
I didn't need
And all those people I tried to impress that just looked down on me