Less Art Optimism As Survival Lyrics

My family, filled with grief
While I feel nothing but I try to help
Do I even belong here?
Does anyone even care?
Now I'm cleaning out his house
Blood still on the bedroom wall
Does my fear come from the same place as
His cowardice?

I'm too curious to kill myself
Everything passes, even doubt
What I can't control won't keep me down
I use optimism as survival

And I miss you (Dawn & Dad)
But I had to get away
Even though I left my best friend
And soon after she passed away
And I felt bad for you, Mother
But I didn't give a fuck about him
What did he do to you
When you were young?

I can't help but worry
Is that same blood in me?
I link the future to the past
Is that same blood in me?

These days it seems like there's no escape
I only come home for tragedy
Like for instance
A death in the family

So heatwave summer for freezing winter
Sometimes beautiful, but mostly bitter
It's the same everywhere we go
Today will pass while we wait for tomorrow
And I'm here, cleaning out his house
Blood still on the bedroom wall
Why am I thinking about this now?
Searching for answers that won't be found
Where my grandfather put a gun in his mouth
Where some friends I know are still trying to get out
No matter how far we try to run
We all end up in the same position

I'm too curious to kill myself
Everything passes, even doubt
What I can't control won't keep me down
I use optimism as survival